but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
