i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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