32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
