but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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