just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
