why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
