You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
