Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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