I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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