Nicole vs. Life
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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