I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
