My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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