didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
