just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
