Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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