the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
