Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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