Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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