Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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