turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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