i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
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I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
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You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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