I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
