Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
