So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
nutella sex= disaster
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
