I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
