I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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