Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
