i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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