I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Of course I have a pirate flag
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
