do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
