I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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