I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
