I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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