Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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