First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
