Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
