thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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