I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
