At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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