I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
