he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
