I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
