Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
