I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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