Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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