I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
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If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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