nut hugger
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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