yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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