theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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