I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
