pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
