Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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