Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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