he thought i was a dude.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
