D3 body, D1 cock
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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