I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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