is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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